Social networks have changed the way we interact with family and friends and have facilitated the approach of people who do not know each other, developing relationships of work, friendship and even love.
Although since the beginnings of the Internet there have been pages and websites dedicated to matchmaking functions, for example, the convenience of social networks has allowed people to always stay connected and available, without having to fill in data for a “shameful” profile with the intention to find a partner. In short, they are perfect for the one who is looking but does not want to appear desperate.
However, the use of RRSS must be cautious, prudent, because sometimes an untimely updated status or a photo that has been sneaked, can lead to upset, jealousy, harassment and even breakdown of relationships. This is how social networks can lead us to love or other demons.
Usually, people like to find their other half in a familiar environment – someone who is a friend of a friend – to have good references and trust that, perhaps, they are their soulmates. For this, Facebook is ideal, with its principle of six degrees of separation, its generally realistic profiles, with not very modified profile and cover photos and visible personal data such as religion, political tendency, country of origin and residence. it is easier to get in touch with “friends of friends”.
A page called Wikihow even gives recommendations on how to prepare a profile to flirt and how to get in touch with possible prospects on Facebook (however, these tips can be used for other social networks such as Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, among others).
Among the tips that are given are 1) Place a photo of the person on the profile and the cover – no pets or generic images – because the idea is that others know the person concerned. 2) Do not post too many photos or any with the ex-partners, since it may seem that there is still some kind of nostalgia and desire to return to that relationship from the past. 3) Comment on photos or relevant statuses of the person who is the object of interest. 4) Take advantage of the relationship with mutual friends to start a conversation. 5) Regularly comment on the other’s posts. 6) After these steps flirt directly, inviting the potential partner to have a coffee or go out. 7) If everything has worked as expected it may be the beginning of a new relationship, otherwise it is necessary to evaluate a withdrawal and not continue seeking to make contact with a person who has rejected us.
If that pushy attitude about someone disinterested persists, we could be confused or turning into a stalker.
What is stalking?
Coming from the English terms Stalk or Stalker, which mean to harass or stalk respectively, the pseudo verb “stalkear” – not yet included as a valid word by the RAE – refers to the action of monitoring, commenting on and excessively sharing another person’s publications in the RRSS.
The Technological Institute of Tamazunchale, in Mexico, defines who stalks as “a person who watches or spies, through the Internet, especially using social networks. Some scholars call them the silent watchers or ghosts. The action of stalking implies a common practice. When you see the photos that your ex-girlfriend publishes, through a friend’s account so they don’t know it’s you or when you keep pressing F5 to see if your boyfriend updates something on Twitter that lets you know what he’s doing, both actions are stalking ”.
A “stalker” commonly follows his “victims” through all their social networks, in order to be aware of all their movements (check until the first photo they have uploaded to Instagram). In addition, he “Googles” you to find more information that may be overlooked and if he is your partner, he complains about status updates or posts that contain details that he did not know.
You can even stalk by WhatsApp, especially since this application activated the double blue check and the viewing of the moment when people in a group read your messages. In itself, if the option is not deactivated, it is possible to know when a person is online or when was the last time they connected.
If the spied or spied on is the couple, it is most likely that he or she stalker, be a jealous person.
Jealousy for WhatsApp
There are those who think that WhatsApp in addition to being a facilitator of communication is a facilitator of conflict. But is the app itself really the culprit? Are social media causing the problems? o Are the users and their behaviors that generate the tension?
The psychologist Alicia López de Fez, from the López de Fez Psychology Center, has explained that a person who spends all day with their mobile phone in hand, checking WhatsApp, can easily produce the jealousy of their partner, who will eventually wonder with who’s talking and why for so long. It may even cause the person who is jealous to start writing to you to demand answers or to constantly know what you are doing or not doing.
“This can lead to a situation where the relationship is not based on full trust. In addition, a person who does not stop writing to his partner has a very great emotional dependence. And obsessive behavior can break any relationship. “
The point is that it is not WhatsApp’s fault, although it certainly brings advantages to the stalker to closely follow in the footsteps of your soulmate.
An argument over a photo, a status or a conversation can cause big problems and lead to strong decisions. A divorce is definitely a strong decision, but it has happened.
Recent studies have revealed that one in five marriages, currently, provides evidence found on Facebook, to process the separation.
According to Steven Kimmons, a marriage psychologist and therapist at Loyola University in Chicago, a breakup is possible when “one of the spouses connects with someone they knew from school. The person is sentimentally available and begins to communicate through Facebook. Then, the exchange of personal stories gives rise to a deep sense of intimacy, which in turn can lead to physical contact ”.
On the other hand, the lawyer specializing in Information Technology, Leandro González Frea, believes that WhatsApp, SMS, Facebook and Twitter DM messages are “the language par excellence of infidelity” in our days. In fact, in a study that bears the name of the jurist, it is revealed that 80% of the divorce proceedings that come to court are started with computerized evidence such as text messages, emails, chats or communications through social networks, scoring the latter Facebook and Twitter.
A curious fact is that in addition to being the “cause” of separations, they can also channel these separations, as demonstrated by a ruling by a judge in New York, in favor of a woman who could not physically find her husband to send him the divorce papers. This curious case, which went viral, transformed Facebook into a carrier pigeon of bad news, because through the social network the gentleman was told that his wife wanted to leave him.
In conclusion, everything depends on the use that is given to these means of communication and interrelation. It is up to each of the users to choose whether they want social networks to lead them to love or other demons.
Love at TechDencias with GizTab: Listen to our podcast!
As every week in our space “TechDencias with GizTab” broadcast by OndaCRO, the online radio of the PR News Group, we deal with a topic related to how new technologies are changing our day to day. This time it was the turn of love: Can technology affect the way we fall in love?
To address this issue, our editorial director, Esperanza Hernández, has had exceptional guests: Andrés Purriños, technology expert and founder of TekNlife.com; César Salza, head of technology at PR Noticias and coordinator of OndaCRO; and Manuel Moreno, journalist expert in social networks and founder of Trecebits.com. Together with them we try to decipher if social networks have modified the forms of love… and heartbreak! You can discover the answer by clicking play: